Monday, October 29, 2007

My Daylight Savings

Congratulations to everyone who enjoyed their weekend, and particularly loved that extra hour that they could spend in bed! Or alternatively, were able to stay up partying for even longer! What a fantastic invention 'Daylight Savings' is!

However, amidst your celebrations, spare a thought for us night workers. People like myself and the 'Night Warden'. People who, instead of having an extra hour in bed or partying, spent an extra hour AT WORK.

My job is irritating enough, without having to spend an extra hour at it!


A colleague at the hotel told me not to worry, that in 6 months time I'll have a shift shortened by an hour as 'Daylight Savings' comes round again.

True, however I'm betting that based on sod's law, this will occur on a day when I really need time to catch up with all my work!


Anyway, mock if you will, but bear in mind one thing....

WE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO WATCH OVER YOU WHILE YOU SLEEP

Thursday, October 25, 2007

My Sleepwalkers

Interesting article in the Telegraph today about hotels and 'Sleepwalkers'. Apparantly hotel staff are being given specific training on how to handle sleepwalking guests. Most noticeably, naked, sleepwalking guests.

I seem to recall I've touched on this in the past, but I really can't face going back through my posts to find out which one it was in!


Anyway, I thought I'd recount the training I received from the former night manager on what to do upon finding a naked sleepwalker/naked 'hallway sleeper'.


1) Go to the nearest housekeeping closet, and fetch a set of towels - Do this before waking the guest (minimises embarrassment on their part)

2) If they are lying down, cover them with the towels - Again, this minimises embarrassment (unfortunately, if they are walking, there's not a lot you can do!)

3) Attempt to wake them by making a loud noise close to their head - This ties into the 'dead' wake-up procedure (it's not uncommon for a guest to take a swing at you as they wake)

4) Establish whether or not the guest is drunk - This is usually quite obvious

5) Check your Guest Sheet, and find out which room the guest is staying in - If you're not carrying your Guest Sheet, YOU'RE AN IDIOT!

6) Let the guest into their room with the master key - Again, if you're not carrying the master key, YOU'RE AN IDIOT!


Finally, some general points:-

a) KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE
b) AVOID STARING AT THEIR... AREAS
c) WISH THEM A GOOD NIGHT

and, finally, finally

d) WASH YOUR HANDS!! - Who knows where the guest may have been....

Saturday, October 20, 2007

My CV and Interview Advice

In the Independant recently, there was a supplement about how to write a good CV, and what to do when turning up to an interview. Having now conducted more interviews than I've actually been invited to, and read CVs more times than I have updated mine, I think I am now qualified to cast an opinion on the issue.


With that in mind, here are my top tips for when you decide to update your CV, or for when you have an interview:-


a) CV - Only put down what is relevant - I know you've always wanted a career in the music/film/catering industry, and only want a job as a stop-gap to earn money and keep the wolves from the door, but please, don't actually put it down in writing - My advice? Write 2 CVs, one aimed towards your dream profession, and one for everyone else. When hiring a night auditor, I really don't care that you've been playing piano since you were 12 and have been a roady at 'V Festival' for the past 3 years.

b) CV - It sounds obvious, I know, but please, include your actual phone number - I'm not so desperate to hire you that I'm going to scour the yellow pages.

c) CV - Include at least one reference. It doesn't fill me with confidence that you have no one to vouch for you - Oh, additionally, when you are requested for a reference as a result, do not give a fax number - On top of being useless, it just makes me think you don't know how the phone works.

d) CV - Do not try to be cute or wacky, especially when applying for a position in management. Yes, it's very clever that you've managed to include on your CV a digitised coffee ring, imported into photoshop and layered over the top, however, it looks so unprofessional I actually had to study it for a good 5 minutes because I couldn't believe someone would really think it beneficial


e) Interview - Always arrive before the interview is scheduled. I would recommend 5 minutes at least. Strangely, if someone turns up ON TIME, I'm vaguely disappointed already.

f) Interview - On the note of punctuality, if you are running late, call the interviewer ahead of time and inform them. I can actually forgive being 30 minutes late for an interview, ASSUMING YOU RING AHEAD AND GIVE ME A REASON.

g) Interview - I know that if you decide you don't want the job, there is no point turning up to the interview. I understand this. I also realise that at this point it doesn't matter what the interviewer's opinion of you is. However, as a note of courtesy, INFORM THEM YOU AREN'T GOING TO TURN UP! I have wasted 2 full days because of this - (I know that an interview only takes on average between 30 minutes and an hour, but I work nights. The fact that I've woken up mid-day has already screwed with my sleep pattern and internal clock)

h) Interview - Dress appropriately, especially if you are applying for a position in management. I don't necessarily expect a tie, but please.... PLEASE.... JEANS*$%#! In what sense is this a good idea?!

i) Interview - I know we've only spoken on the phone for a few minutes, I know we've only been sat down for a little while, and I know I've only told you my name twice, but a word of advice... REMEMBER IT! Especially as I'M WEARING A NAME BADGE!!

j) Interview - Never refer to me as DUDE. Or GUY. Or MATE. I shouldn't have to explain why...

k) Interview - Just a few general points to round off. Do not appear:-

1) Nervous
2) Bored - Yawning? Checking your watch? Never a good sign!
3) Fidgety
4) Horny - No matter how confident you are, WINKING at me, is not going to make me want to hire you!
5) Sleepy - I know I'm not fascinating to talk to, but falling asleep in your chair... Do you think it makes you seem more employable?


I apologise for the slight 'rant', but I am getting really close to the end of my tether. I have no staff and am currently working every night because no one is qualified to cover. I think I need a holiday... or a sabbatical... or to be institutionalised...

Monday, October 15, 2007

My Interview

Unhappily, the night team is short staffed at the moment and it falls to me to interview and hire new staff.

Why 'unhappily'? Ask yourself this:-

What kind of people do you think APPLY for night work?


I have interviewed almost a dozen people. They ranged from:-

a) A Hungarian who could barely say yes or no
b) A Slovakian whose previous jobs had only lasted a maximum of 2 months
c) A German who turned up 30 minutes late despite living opposite the hotel
d) A South African who asked me if it was possible to work only 2 nights a week instead of 5
e) An Englishman (who I hired), who worked 4 shifts and then handed in his notice saying the work was too physically demanding
f) A Spaniard who turned up wearing scruffy jeans and a T-shirt (sorry, it's just not that impressive when applying for a position in management)

And I think the creme de la creme:-

g) A French woman, who told me that she saw dead people


Seriously?!? Is this an accurate representation of the current workforce available?

I'd like to hear from anyone else who has had some interesting ones...

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

My Pager

I think I'm harboring a growing sense of resentment towards my pager.

Let me explain, as I am the duty manager at night and there are usually no other staff members around, I am given 'THE NIGHT PAGER'.


The Night Pager will go off if the doorbell is rung.

And if someone calls the hotel externally.

And if someone rings reception internally.

And if someone calls the night phone.

And if I'm covering the bar.

And if I'm dealing with a difficult guest.

And if I'm taking luggage to a guest's room.

And if I'm doing a security walk-round and am on the other side of the building.

And if I'm preparing/delivering room service.

And if I'm asleep.

And if I'm really not in the mood.


Okay, so it's only the first 4, but regardless it's a massive pain in the arse.

Anyway, I've come to the conclusion that it is in fact alive, and intelligent. It waits, and then chooses the most inappropriate time, so I end up running the length of the hotel.

It's crowning achievement was a couple of weeks ago, when during a wedding night, within the space of an hour, it went off 6 TIMES!

Each time, when I was on the other side of the hotel! And the final time, when I was breaking up a fight!!


I might have to take it apart, just to show it who's boss...

Saturday, October 6, 2007

My Abandonment Issues

On Al's blog 'Life On A Roll Of Film', he posted about scratchcards, and in the comments what was abandoned at kiosks was expanded - I think aggressiveadmin, who blogs on 'Working at Food Place', came up with the most disgusting item left at a kiosk...

Anyway, I thought I'd post about the things that either get handed in to me, or that I find whilst walking round the hotel at night.


On one wedding night, I had handed in to me:-

1) A scarf
2) A mobile phone
3) A purse
4) A dinner jacket
5) A bow tie
6) A bunch of flowers
7) A tiara

And,

8) A shoe...

A shoe. How do you lose A shoe?! Both shoes, yes. But surely you'd notice if you lost A shoe!


However, the strangest thing I've found, was whilst I was checking the ladies' toilets at the end of the night.


In one of the cubicles was a pair of panties. A 'used' pair or panties... and a price tag.

Now, from what I can gather, someone has gone shopping and bought a pair of panties. They have then gone to the ladies bathroom, put them on, entertained themselves, and then taken them off and left them there for someone to find...

Some people have strange fetishes...


Any other theories that would explain this?

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

My Falls

Flicking through blogs, I came across Pizza Hut Team Member's post on clumsiness and general falls while at work.


My personal experience from working at the hotel is that the kitchen floor is LETHAL. What little grip I manage to get on it whilst wearing my walking-shoes is instantly negated by the inevitable puddle left for me by the kitchen porter.

Usually, when I feel myself begin to slip, I can either 'ride-it-out' or grab onto one of the metal counters to steady myself. However, this was not the case recently...


I have to go to the kitchen to prepare a room service tray, and as I scavenge the area I place my foot in a patch of oil put on the floor from the deep-fat fryer, and left there by the kitchen porter when he cleaned. As I feel my foot begin to skate out from under me, I reach out to steady myself on the nearest counter... which proves to be a mistake.

The counter itself is 'quite warm', so I let go VERY quickly and allow myself to instead land on my arse on the kitchen floor. I rest here for a little while, before gingerly picking myself up, dusting myself off, and walking very carefully to the end of the counter. When I get there, I reach up, and turn the hot plate off...

Ow, in a word.