My Crying Guests

I'm sure every barman has at some point or another had a customer cry in their bar.

I was reading Manuel's blog 'Well Done Fillet', and was appalled by his story of the mother and daughter birthday duo, where the daughter abandons her mother to hang out with her friends (HAS to be read!!)

I'm not sure where people break down in tears more, restaurants or bars, though I would be interested in opinions - Having worked only in bars, not restaurants, I have no comparison


It's always a challenge to know what to do when a guest starts crying in the bar. Harsh as this sounds, being a hotel bar we have the added problem of whether or not the guest is actually staying at the hotel or just 'visiting the bar'. If they're staying in the hotel we can't kick them out as we have no closing time, so they could theoretically sit in the bar all night - one guest stayed till 5am, when I eventually managed to convince her to go to bed


If a crying guest is sitting at the back of the bar, I take it that chances are they don't want to be talked to.

If a crying guest is sat at the bar, I figure they may want someone to talk to. However, at the same time, they may just want to have someone close to them, they may not in fact want to be spoken to.

Dilemmas!!


My first step is usually to approach the guest with a tissue. Depending on their reaction, I can then decide whether or not to attempt to speak with them. If they start talking to me, I'll have a chat with them. If not, I'll ask if they're alright, and then leave them alone.

If I am very busy, I sadly do not have the time to check on crying guests, let alone go over their problems with them. In these cases, I usually direct a manager towards them.

With some guests though, it's difficult to determine if they are genuinely upset or just somewhat loopy...


My most 'entertaining' crying guest sat at the bar sobbing for 5 minutes, and then burst into laughter, giggling to herself for another 5 minutes, before lapsing back into sobs. This continued for about 4 hours.

She chatted to me for the duration of this episode, telling me her tears were tears of joy, and that she was just really happy! Hmm...

By the time I finally managed to convince her to go to bed she could barely walk, so I offered to help her. Before we set off she insisted on hugging me, and when we got to her room she hugged me again... She then kissed me and tried to pull me into her room!

I gently explained to her that I couldn't come in, and left her. However, the night manager told me the next day that he had 4 calls from her, asking if the barman was still around and requesting room service.


Crying Guests, not something I was ever trained in how to deal with...