My Strange Requests

Below are some of the odd/idiotic things that guests have asked me to do for them. My surprise may explain my occasionally 'less-than-professional' replies.

Guest: So, I need to show you proof that I'm staying in the hotel before you'll serve me, and I can get this proof from reception?
Me: Yes, sir.
Guest: Can't you go get it for me?
Me: You want me to go to reception, prove I'm you, so I can get proof that you're staying in the hotel, so you can prove it to me?



Guest: So at this time, the kitchen's closed and I can only get cold sandwiches, yes?
Me: That's correct, sir.
Guest: Could you toast it for me?
Me: No, sir. A toastie is not a cold sandwich.
Guest: What about some chips?
Me: Sorry, sir, but that's not a cold sandwich either.
Guest: Oh, alright fine, I'll just have a pizza then.
Me: .....um..... No... You won't. How about a cold sandwich? Ham? Cheese?




Guest: If I order a room service from you, will you deliver it?
Me: At this time of the night, it is me who does the room service deliveries, yes.
Guest: So I can get you to come up to my room?
Me: ...Uh.... yes?
Guest: Wow! Don't worry, my husband won't mind.
Me: ....!



Guest: I'd like a bottle of your finest champagne and a woman.
Me: Excuse me?!
Guest: Just send her to Room 120 when you've got the champagne ready.
Me: Um, sir, the champagne I can do, the woman I don't think I can.
Guest: If it makes it easier, I don't care if she's got teeth or not.
Me: .......?!

I once watched a female co-worker have this discussion with a guest:

Guest: I'll give you £150 tip, if you like.

Her: No, sir, you don't need to tip me that much.

Guest: Okay, how about I give you £300 if you have a chat with me after you finish? No, wait! Double it! I'll give you £600 for a chat!

Her: But we're chatting now! It's free!