Mystery Guest Alert

Mystery Guest Alert

As soon as one person utters it, it's on the lips of every staff member, and written on every notice board. It's like an airborne virus. One person detects it, and then it spreads. Within 20 minutes, managers you haven't seen for weeks appear and watch over you, surveying your area of responsibility. Some actually take over for you, gently ushering you into private staff areas where you can't be seen, and can in no way risk offending the mystery guests.

They can be detected by time of month (if you haven't had one and it's near the end of the month then chances are high), how they check in (usually couples for one night, and some actually hesitate when asked if they are staying for business or leisure), what drinks they have in the bar, and even what they ask the waitresses about at breakfast. If somehow they slip past reception the earliest warning is the bar, where we monitor what drinks people are having and attempt to seek out the Mystery Guest 'pattern'.

We are graded on certain drinks, and if a couple is hitting 2 out of 3, they are watched. The barman casually rings up to his supervisor to say he suspects an 'MG'. The supervisor hangs up without saying a word, and within minutes he's at your side. Suddenly the restaurant manager appears at bar and leaning over conspiratorially, enquires as to the whereabouts of the potential MG. Once the couple have left the bar and headed for the restaurant, the supervisor turns to you and asks how you think you did.

Once he's finished interrogating you he casually slips off, back to his office for an hour or so, returning just in time to be present for the second visit. The Mystery Guests may stay in the bar for 20 minutes, they may stay for 4 hours. Once they leave though, you can hear the hotel sigh. Every member of staff shrinks by about an inch, as they stop straining so hard to stand up straight. Their faces melt, as the forced smiles fall off them. Over the course of the night, that couple has been the focus of each and every employee. That night you go home exhausted; physically and mentally drained.

The next day, you find out from reception whether or not they were Mystery Guests. If they were, you're relieved. You have a rough idea based on your own experience as to whether you did well or not, and more importantly, you're not due another Mystery Guest for some time. If they weren't Mystery Guests, you're mildly annoyed. You worked harder than you had to, drained yourself, and didn't really achieve anything. The worst is when reception reports that "although the people in room 220 weren't Mystery Guests, the ones in 110 were."

Whoops.