My Wedding

A couple's wedding day is, for many, the single most important day of their life. There are websites dedicated to the topic that discuss it in detail, right down to what ridiculous gift you can give the happy couple.

At the hotel, we advertise ourselves heavily towards wedding parties. The reason for this is obvious; not only do we charge for setting up the catering and entertainment, but it also ensures a large number of rooms are sold, and generates a healthy income for the bar which is usually kept busy till between 3 and 7am.

However, I don't think people truly appreciate how difficult it is for us to make sure everything runs smoothly on the day.


We have to:

1) Take another bottle of champagne up to the bridal suite - the receptionist managed to send it to the wrong room (we would go and take it back, but she cannot remember where she sent it)

2) Search the housekeeper's cleaning cart - the flowers placed in the bridal suite have mysteriously disappeared right after it was cleaned (the flowers usually make it back to the room, albeit a little more travelled than they should be)

3) Drive to the nearest supermarket/petrol station - reception have forgotten to arrange for chocolates to be delivered to the room and we don't have any

4) Wash the sword that we use to cut the cake - the porter who put it away after the last wedding forgot to and it now has wedding cake dried onto it

5) Keep a close eye on the DJ - as the night has gone on it has become apparent that he's very, very drunk

6) Try to recommend music to the DJ - people not only aren't dancing, but we're starting to hear them ranting and coming up with threats to his health

7) Check at least one guest out of his room and into another under a false name - a 'disagreement' has occurred and having leapt through a hedge to escape his pursuer, he'd like to lay low for the night

8) Carry at least one guest back to their room - they're usually found passed out in the hall, sometimes wearing clothes, sometimes not

9) Deliver room service to a female guest - for some reason, they're naked when they open the door (not as common as the previous tasks, but does happen)


And, after one particularly 'unsmooth' wedding:


10) Re-lay the breakfast settings so that the bride and groom's families are on opposite sides of the room - this was mostly due to the groom standing up at 3am and announcing to his new father-in-law, "Right, I'm going to go shag your daughter"


That said, I do still enjoy weddings. Every one's celebrating so they're usually fairly happy and pleasant to chat to over the course of the night... Usually.