My Whiskey

On the bar, we have a fair range of whiskeys. We have most of the classic malts, and a large number of mixed malts.

Occasionally, someone will come up to the bar who has an extensive knowledge, but most of the people who order whiskey know absolutely nothing about it. I actually quite enjoy talking to guests who don't know anything, because I look quite intelligent (even though my knowledge base is actually quite small), can make recommendations, and usually get tipped at the end. For example, you can tell them to look for the slight taste of salt in Talisker, the chocolate in Macallan, and the marzipan in Balvenie.

I also enjoy talking to the guests with extensive knowledge, because we can have an in depth chat, I may be able to learn something, and again I usually get tipped at the end.

Sometimes however, we get a guest who is a 'connoisseur'. These are guests who think they know a lot about whiskey, but really know nothing. For example, I overheard one connoisseur telling his friends that the Laphroaig got it's peaty taste due to the altitude it was distilled at. They seemed quite impressed, though I waited until they'd left and then pointed out to him that it's actually because of the water the barley is steeped in, and the smoke of a peat fire which it is then dried in. To his credit he recovered marvellously, telling me I was wrong and to shut up. Now I wish I'd corrected him in front of his friends and watched them laugh at him.


Recently though, I was on bar when a Scottish guest came and sat down in front of me. I ended up having a fairly pleasant chat with him about the whiskeys as he told me odd little facts and insights. Additionally he practically did my job for me, as whenever a guest would come up and ask for whiskey he'd make recommendations and explain the whiskey range to them. Entertainingly, he would also minorly chastise guests who wanted to put ice in their classic malt.

I then had someone come up and ask for a double Lagavulin... with Coke.

The Scottish guest nearly had a stroke.